Dear America: A List of Things You Do That Piss Me Off

in

Fuck your McMansions and your second and third mortgages.
Fuck your wage slavery.
Fuck your increasing consumer debt loads.
Fuck your jingoistic revisionist history.
Fuck your ghettoized immigrant neighborhoods.
Fuck all you middle class junkies.
Fuck all you blue blooded lay about millionaires.
Fuck all you rednecks with your GEDs and cro-magnon ideas.
Fuck the corporate rulers and their brand name identities.
Fuck the empty promises of health and prosperity.
Fuck plastic surgeons getting rich off of vanity.
Fuck your six pack abs and your tribal tattoos.
Fuck your cheap sex worn like fashion accessories.
Fuck your middle management jargon and your economic waste.
Fuck your nuclear families and your relationship status.
Fuck your parents and grandparents who made this mess.
Fuck you for not cleaning up after them.
Fuck your children because they won't clean up after you.
Fuck the Machiavellian politicians you elect out of fear.
Fuck Hollywood and New York and the creative elite driving the landfill of culture.
Fuck you for buying what they're selling.
Fuck your television and your laptop and your ipod and your cell phone.
Fuck your gym membership and your organic whole foods grocery store.
Fuck your faddish obsessions with overpaid celebrity assholes.
Fuck your corporate Lawyers and for profit hostpitals.
Fuck your incompetent inability to stop using gasoline
Fuck your sociopathic children decked out in the latest brand names.
Fuck all the hippies and their fashionable consumerist rebellions.
Fuck all the hipsters for being narrow minded sheep.
Fuck the boneheads in the military for being tools of the empire.
Fuck all the rest of us for watching them die on TV.
Fuck the chickenhawks in congress with their boners for new weapons.
Fuck the insurance company yes men who get rich by betting on fear.
Fuck people in pickup trucks with American flag bumper stickers.
Fuck pro-life activists for their ignorant fascism.
Fuck the drug warrior nonsense and the overcrowded jails.
Fuck the dumbass poor people for glorifying poverty.
Fuck all of you for buying the least common denominator.
Fuck me for not knowing what to do about any of it except continuing to hate what we've become.

Comments

Man, you are a true diehard

Man, you are a true diehard progressive. I salute your loyalty. However, being who I am I disagree with most of your hatreds.

BUT

I do agree with these:

"Fuck your cheap sex worn like fashion accessories."

I will add comment to this by stating that the value of sex in the United States is on par with a Happy Meal at this point. Lady GaGa should change her moniker to Lady BigMac. It would be closer to the truth. Plus she probably does ooze "secret sauce' at this point. Did you see her awful pro-gay military speech the other day? Gay people, listen to me, PLEASE put a plug in that sphincter.

"Fuck your middle management jargon and your economic waste."

Although I do have good relationships with some in the management class, I often wonder where the prognostication that "everyone will work from home in 2010" went? It went nowhere to save those in middle management who can't handle the idea that usually adults work for them and can be trusted to do the work they have usually been doing for years from home just as well as they can from the office. But petty power tripping isn't going away anytime too soon. So yeah, get rid of middle management and divide their pay and bonuses up among the "workers".

"Fuck all the hippies and their fashionable consumerist rebellions.
Fuck all the hipsters for being narrow minded sheep."

I think these two belong with each other. It is these two that keep me from having a good time intoxicated in the public. It is why I now drink alone. If I drank in public, I would soon wind up in jail. Or the hospital.

"Fuck the boneheads in the military for being tools of the empire."

Indeed, when if ever will we remove ALL military inventory and persons from Western Europe? What a fucking waste of money. The need for that ended when the Berlin wall came down. Also, why do we have to protect every little piece of shit in the world anyway? I mean I undertand the middle east just because of the strategic value at this time...but fucking Western Europe? don't they have their own armies and navies?

"Fuck the drug warrior nonsense and the overcrowded jails."

I have nearly persuaded every adult that I know that the drug war is full of shit and I truly believe the tide is turning on this one. And that is on the right and the left.

"Fuck me for not knowing what to do about any of it except continuing to hate what we've become."

Join the Tea Party?

HA!

Happity hate!

how do you follow an act like that

The last line sums it up for me.

The worst part of figuring out everything that's wrong with the world is when you can draw a line right back to yourself.

Agree with the lot. And fuck

Agree with the lot.

And fuck me too for hating all of that stuff to and getting so angry and argumentative about it yet having complete inability to actually make a difference or do anything but hate! AMERICA PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF!!!!!

BRAVO

Great job sir! This is the FIRST hit on google when I search "things that annoy me about America". I am a veteran of the Iraq War turned environmentalist. Disillusioned, I left the Army in 2004 (with an honorable discharge) feeling like I had participated in a criminal act blanketed under the patriotic banner of defending America. Puke. I tried. Got my master's in international environmental policy, then I gave up on America after serving as an AmeriCorps VISTA for a year. I moved to Germany with my German wife. Got a resident permit. Loving life. Loving German society. Loving living in an intellectual and sophisticated society that can spot the bullshit America tries to pull from miles away. Examples are plentiful (Amazon, TTIP, NSA, hormone beef, GMO corn, Netflix.... just research all the scandals--the real scandals, not the ones that make headlines in the US, stuff like Janet Jackson's tit flying out, as if that fucking has any impact on the quality of life for millions of American citizens.) I honestly think the best thing thinking Americans can do right now is just leave the fucking shithole. I lost the energy to change it. I just want to live in a quaint European town with cobble stones. Come join us if you can. You'll see your woes just melt away...